So I grew up in a family where honestly my mom was the disciplinarian. Dad did discipline us, but more than likely it was Mom who was gonna give it to us! One time I had smarted off to my Mom and she was too angry to spank me. She told my dad to, "take that child back in the room and spank her!" I knew it was coming but I have a secret weapon, Big Brown Eyes. These beauties started in the minute we got in the room. They welled up with tears and blinked widely as just the right heart tugging moments. I expressed my sorrow at having smarted off to my dear sweet mother. My father bought it, but he also knew my mom would be irate if he didn't spank me. So he told me to cry loudly and he would spank the bed. I walked out of the room holding my daddy's hand my mother in her rage looked from sniffling child to man and back again and asked, "You didn't sank her?!" It was really more of a statement than a question and my dad just kinda grunted. We both knew we had been caught. To which I responded to my mom, "HA!" We had a rule in the house that even though my mom might have been the disciplinarian, mom never went against him, at least not in front of the children. But my mom looked me dead in the eye and said, "Young lady, next time you need a spanking, I will never ask your dad again!"
Now I'm a parent. My husband also grew up in a home where corporal punishment was instated. But that's not why we spank our children. We spank them because the bible tells us that if we don't we literally hate our children. I am always amazed that after I get done spanking, the joy that returns to my children. Just now, I told my children to go clean their rooms. They were fighting and it was time. So we went into the room and took care of business. For the sake of some who might now know how to discipline I would like to share with you our most recent experience.
1. We talked about the offense. The child (which shall remain unnamed) was asked if what he/she had done was wrong. They admitted their guilt. They don't always admit their guilt at that point as their parent and as a picture of Christ to my child I have to tell them that whether they choose to see it as wrong or not it is still wrong.
2. Then the punishment is set, usually according to age, i.e. six years old gets six swats. They are controlled, even swats. If the child kicks, squirms, screams, etc, the spanking is stopped and we start over. At this point it really is up to the child how many swats they will receive.
3. After we get through the spanking the child is sat up and we ask them what they are supposed to say. We have trained them to say they are sorry, and not just sorry but what exactly they are sorry for, i.e. I'm sorry I hit my brother. Then they say to the one offended, if it was other than the parent I am sorry.
4. If there is a hint of a bad attitude they get another spanking, usually only three swats. Then they are up again and asked if they are going to change their attitude. If the answer is no, and sometimes it has been that, or the answer is I don't know, they get three more swats. We do this because there are three parts to obedience: right away, all the way and with. A good attitude! If even one part is missing, it was not obedience.
NOTE: the swats actually have to hurt, this little light pat thing doesn't cut it and doesn't change attitudes.
After this I am always amazed at the sweet spirit that permeates from the child. I am amazed and humbled when they willingly run up to me and hug or kiss me and for no reason at all and say I love you mom. It makes me think, when a God spanks me, do I make him keep going? Do I have a sweet spirit afterwards that brings such peace and joy? I hope I can be more like my children in this. I sometimes will put off dealing with my children becaus ei think, oh this is going to take forever. Just now, it took a little less than 5 minutes for two and there is sweet tones and joy returning as they sweetly clean their rooms.
Another thing I have noticed is that if I do put it off I end up yelling. I have to apologize afterwards because the look on my children's face when I yell at them is one of horror and then hate for me. It breaks me up inside. When we calmly spank, it is a world of difference. Honestly I wouldn't have set it up this way if I wrote the bible. I would have set up time out or something of a penance program, but God reminds us that Hos ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts. I may not fully understand it, and maybe Even a little part of me disagrees with it (if I were to be truly honest), but this one thing I know, it works. When done right, with love from the parent to the child. I hate spanking my children, this why I will try other things first but that never ends the way I desire and doesn't being peace to our home. I will sometimes, with a tear in my eye look at my children and say, I love you, and I love God. I have to obey God and he tells me I have to spank you.
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